GoIdmund spent a day of ience roaming in to ers beautiful madonna in ter.  to see  t er Niklaus t nigime.  be of s duration, migo danger per today it  to miss any of it.   to see people, to be distracted; ed to spend tumn day outside, rees and clouds. old Marie t ryside and mige. o give   up for , stuffed s full of bread and apples, ran a brus,  him go.

    rolled across teep-stepped paty vineyards, lost  on ts, and did not stop climbing until  plateau. tedly trees. Blackbirds scurried before eps; sreated into t y looked like a toy; not a sound rose from it, except t of teau t pagan days, perifications, perombs.  doumn grass on t valley, tains beyond to tains and sky merged in bluisainty and could no longer be told apart.  ance muc. A imes  in ts, eaten berries, been ain ridges, and stretcigued. Someance, far out of t migill be  caug tor; and someed distance, er of le of t iful daugitute, ill roaming t peristered places, s, toles and cloisters, and people alive and dead existed inside ance,  oo, tomorro, er nig  ed somet somet would survive him.

    Up to notle remained of   out in t remained . Joure book, tiful, ac visible to ot go on to a restless, torturous as iful overflo?

    It  ones senses play, drank full at tive mot— bliss but ection against deat, colorful today and rotten tomorro up a defense, imprisoned oneself for ried to build a monument to ting passage of life—t a tool; one enlisted in t  ones freedom, scope, lust for life. ts er Niklaus.

    Ac  split by ttle alternative! to create,  sacrificing ones senses for it. to live,  renouncing ty of creating. as t impossible?

    Per lose ty by being faittled, did not s dried up by lack of freedom and lack of risk. Per one.

    All existence seemed to be based on duality, on contrast. Eitary burg time as , be a man as inct and mind. One al as important and desirable as t easier in t. Nature ed t desire bore its fruit automatically, t ternal longing replaced tility. as ted everytile, did  ion? No,  be evil; ed t and ts, flo t ran tire creation. Per  turned out rige—or did God intend t  iful and  man created and gave back to God as a sacrifice of this longing?

    s depressed urned oy, saplace, t, to oress,  nigo o experience t nigo o make t marvelous aug nigy rees, er, fisterflies. For tasy and danger, ored up during to complain.

    all day on tumnal s, ing, eating bread, toole. It ared out of quiet red roop of singing boys carrying  turnips o ttle mummery left a scent of er in its er time rolled about outside tle. taries ill t silted in one of to creep inside and find Berta, ttle closet room until Agnes appeared and silently led o enderly iful face received enderly, but not ened. o try very o ctle. Slotle of her confidence.

    quot; you can be,quot; sefully. quot;You , my golden bird, o an end any urn. t is angry today. ts  not set eyes on you! You  live t ;

    sounds rose in   o ender-sad. ts o come to  nigo , t tender-anguis  secrecy?   risk?

    Gently o o  touced o find ened and en.

    Suddenly sarted as a nearby door eps approached.

    quot;O!quot; s;Quickly, you can escape t room.  betray me!quot;

    So t room. ood alone groping antly in t speak loudly to Agnes.  o t one foot before to tried to open it. And only at t moment,   could be an unfortunate coincidence t someone er   believe so. o a trap; . Someone must   rembling, ood in tely t of Agness last ;Dont betray me!quot; No,  betray  pounded, but teadied eeth.

    It all  came in from Agness room, a candlestick in  . At t, Goldmund ily scooped up a fes t ake  .

    t saw  once. Slowly he came closer.

    quot; are you doing ;

    quot;Forgive me,quot; ook. ;

    And  ts on the floor.

    quot;A t  intelligent of you to risk your life for a fes. Are you a burgy?quot;

    quot;No, my lord, Im ;

    quot;Silence! I  to kno t since youll be  o pry into t. t is enoug;

    Violently  t;Are you t;

    tside, and tmen stood in readiness h drawn blades.

    quot;tie ; called t in a voice t croaked ; eal. Put omorro;

    Goldmunds ied;  up no resistance. airs, tyard, a butler carrying a torcopped in front of a round, iron-studded cellar door, sed and cursed because t in tmen took torcler ran back to fetcood, ting outside t pus curiously on to Goldmunds face. At t ts le le copped in front of t t scene attentively: tmen, tood ting.

    Goldmund noticed neits nor  t o  aring eyes ood ts ly to one of t to deat been caug.

    quot;to ; said t. quot;Before early mass Ill bring s and o me t  be led ao t till  to confession and ts like any otian.quot;

    t contradict. tary. imes at ts table. And besides, w be deprived of confession?

    ts ared. Finally tler came o a cellar, and stumbled doeps. A couple of tools  around a table; it eroom of a ool to down.

    quot;tomorro is coming to confess you,quot; one of t and carefully locked the heavy door.

    quot;Leave me t, brot; begged Goldmund.

    quot;No, fello along  it. t o get used to t last any  .quot;

    Noool and laid able. It o sit ts ; but trated er. At first , able as t to be decapitated.  to impress upon  : to accept table, to accept dying.

    For an eternity  t  over, trying to accept , to breat in, and fill . It  omorroo sit on and pick at.  Master Niklaus  , like all ts. It  easy to accept t, to let . It ely impossible to accept it. too many t yet given up, to  said goodbye. t o do just t.

    o say fareo beautiful Agnes. Never again o kiss it many times more. Oe autumn sun,  of o o say fareo to te-clouded sky, trees and forests, to imes of day, till sitting up, even no, sitting and ing, falling asleep in c no Goldmund would ever come home.

    Oed to make—gone, gone! And t. Jo too o be given up.

    And o say fareo o , to love, to playing te, to sleeping and o everytomorro, a girl ars  snoant mountains—everytrees  t of t  Goldmund. Noto c all.

    asted t young s; ire colorful . In parting, all of lifes beautiful confusion s tear upon tear drop from o tears flooded out; collapsing, o te pain. Oains, brooks among green elms, o evenings on tiful radiant image e boy. From t, a sig rose: quot;O;

    And as   ts and artists dreams. It iful and alive, t seen it since er days. to o  o die, to o , therly hands.

    And so weeping ion and sleep  an wo, escaping his misery.

    violent pain. s burned  trouble sitting up; to and realized o take o die. t .  t ts ion of o  kno, an eternity.  all certitude about things.

    But y or not:  desire it, ed not ransitory life, t ed to live. Furiously  up, groped o to to be an escape! Per  o say a good ion or make  over t  couldnt be over yet. First ry to . ry as o co enlist o convince o flatter  ies ill, tiny: t omac collapse, some unforeseeable possibility of escape migo die; ried to accept e, and . , ruggle, rip ttack t for o t moment,  to untie  deal would be gained.

    In time ried, in spite of to  teet er a cruelly long time, in making ttle looser. Panting, ood in t of ing terribly. ten  along tep by step, exploring truding edge. teps over o t and tried to rub t tones. It . Again and again s instead of t tone; t   give up. rip of gray morning ie it;  aftero to exercise to move to make tream t seemed good to him.

    If  succeed in persuading t to  test time, o kill  ools.  strangle rengt beat t to deato o be outside tle, and t he plan would work.

    Never in ctention, longed for it and yet feared it. Quivering ension and determination, crip of liger. o table and practiced croucool ween his

    knees so t t be noticed immediately. Since ermined to get to be smasermined to live at any cost. ell, perside o  reac  s sa  t srust? And if nobody appeared and no sign  succeed, ool, tain of one advantage: omed to tinctively all t fees at least.

    Feveris table, t o t to s o begin. At time c s ; terrible tension  be bearable mucrengto come soon ,  readiness, ermined o be saved ill in tage.

    Finally tside aeps resounded on t in t, a key urned: eac like ter thly silence.

    Slo, creaking on its  came in, alone,  a guard, carrying a candlestick  at all he prisoner had imagined.

    rangely moving: t  of Mariabronn, t t Abbot Daniel, Fatin had once worn!

    t stabbed at ; o look aer  till t. eet his friar.