I taugo read and e again during t termined to keep me inside or  or in ing symbols ions, rules and effects, and, most important, ting proved more difficult, primarily because one o o say before confronting tual dra turned out to be a tiresome c afternoons, I practiced e, filling it over and over  my compulsive be, but not before printing, as neatly as possible, quot;I love my mot; Sickled to find t later, and ture earned me an entire peac a slice for t even my father.

    ty of going to second grade quickly eroded to a dull aco me, altered someanding t otic. I still tussle  so mucions—addition, subtrac-tion, multiplication—as tract configurations. Elementary science and ory revealed a  t differed from my experience among t George ason is, metapry, nor did I realize t a food c of organisms of an ecological community according to tion in ural order felt most unnatural at first. Matters in t ential. Liv-ing depended on sincts, not memorizing facts. Ever since t  man remained. If ayed inue to endure.

    Our struggle o find t co trade places. It couldnt be a random selection. A c decide on a cook me, and seven ury. t  only survival in t t to come back into this world.

    returned, t learned patience became a virtue. My sces cime craernoon, ing an eternity for t in tultifying room from September to mid-June, and barring ed to arrive by eig seven ed,  out into t luncrospect, tual moments spent togeto our time apart, but some t measured by quality ratity. My classmates made eacorture. I ex-pected civilization, but ties and blue uniforms inguisers, burpers, to torture t, stealing luncing on ts, egging ed as a potential prey. A feually oppressed. ted badly, eit every sligion. At an early age, tlessly, as clerks or store managers, systems analysts or consultants. t of tears—but I neglected to come to trengtch a single, well-placed blow.

    ties. too, dis-played many of ting personal s and lack of general oo loudly or not at all. ted viciously among tes, or to t of tinely tore apart t girls aunts and se ims  mercy if, for instance, t ts in class, as  before recess on t day to tess ode time, I felt someto sympatune. teased about til Val-entines Day. In te blouses, to tles. In t sense, t to ts.

    togetimes at nig, spooking sleeping birds from ts, stealing cloter page of ting about my peers. But for all its faults, t my mind to forgetting t and becoming a real boy again. Intolerable as sced. Mom ing for me every afternoon, pretending to be dusting or cooking riumply t door.

    quot;t; so tcine. quot;oday, ;

    I  lies for .

    quot;Did you learn anyt;

    I e all t ely curious and pleased, but  last to to finis before suppertime. In ts before my fat tableside. In te ballads, and I learned t ed. By accident or ignorance, I mimicked tly and could sing tone for tone, measure for measure, ply like Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra, Rosemary Clooney or Jo Stafford. Mom took my musical ability as a natural extension of my general ellect. So en sco beg me to sing it one more time.

    quot;Be a dear boy and give us train Out for Dreamland again.quot;

    ,  respond as kindly. quot; up? One day you cant carry a tune, no;

    quot;I dunno. Maybe I  listening before.quot;

    quot;Youre kidding me? S racket on day and nig Cole King and all t jazz, and Can you take me dancin sometime? As if a mot listening?quot;

    quot;Concentrating, I mean.quot;

    quot;You srating on your ;

    quot;If you pay attention and listen instead of merely une in no time.quot;

    anot;Mind your elders, if you please, Caruso.quot;

    I took care not to be suc mimic around my dad.

    Mary and Elizabetoo young to knoter, and ted  question my budding talent for imperson-ation. Indeed, time, especially in trot out all ty tunes like quot;Mairzy Doatsquot; or quot;ttle Fis; it fail, ime I sang quot;Over t; I did a mean Judy Garland.

    My days o a comfortable routine, and as long as I stayed inside t  at once turned garis t of trees  my eyes. I ed t reminders of life in t. October proved a riot to t ies s and candies, bonfires in tricks on to even tten into t. ty ertainment and refress. tops of ted paper pumpkins and black cats on tifully cut out scary truction paper and glued togetistic efforts, pitiable ted to bake cookies and broumes ed. I remember exactly my conversa-tion on tter her.

    quot;ere y for  sceacrick-or-treat outfits instead of our uniforms. I  to be a ;

    quot; ?quot;

    quot;You know, a ;

    quot;Im not sure  is. Is it anyter?quot;

    quot;No.quot;

    quot;Or a g? Or a g;

    quot;Not t;

    quot;Pertle vampire?quot;

    quot;Im no bloodsucker, Mot;

    quot;Pers a fairy?quot;

    I  time in nearly t my temper and screamed in my natural artled her.

    quot;For ts out of me, raising t;

    Bansed to tell  tead, I turned on tears, bawins. So  omach.

    quot;t; Sed my co my eyes. quot;I just dont knoe, youd like t no you?quot;

    And ts aloons and a s ied around my skull, and ce in ty. teacapped me to sing quot;teddy Bears Picnicquot; as part of tertainment for our party. My normal speaking voice  in tonig; I sounded exactly like tation s of t quite knoo believe. I remember t tess ode and stared  blinking, as if sal deception but could not unravel trick. But tter. At togethemselves.

    tual trick-or-treating left muco be desired. My fato to dusk and ed for me as I reet, spying ic costume. No  did try to cross my pat ture in perfect cat, and it turned tail, running ao  o kno lost all my tricks.