er’s diary ed t it left orange stains on your fingers. t tuck togeted into t o a broo dirt and damp togetorn; along tantalizing list of fragments: abn, cr, ta, est. orst of all, it seemed t t some point been submerged in er. ted; s intended thickness.

    It  o cause me test difficulty.  a page, it  it . Not any old script, eit er’s. able slant,  functional gaps. But on a closer look, t? as tion to be read as bet or lost?

    It o be quite a puzzle. Altly made a transcript of t day train oo croo permit pencil and paper. I , diary close to my nose, and pored over to task of decip first, to to come o meet me, res ions, until I o turn t train, tmas, er came to life.

    I  test your patience by reproducing er’s diary  came to me: fragmented and broken. In t of er idied and put in order. I ter. I  ainty, sy, lacunae ance. In doing so, I may  o  se, but I can promise t if I akes, it is only in t matters I ed and scrutinized until I am as sure as sure can be t I inguished her original meaning.

    I do not give tire diary, only an edited selection of passages. My cated first by questions of relevance to my purpose, ell tory of Miss inter, and second by my desire to give an accurate impression of er’s life at Angelfield.

    Angelfield  enoug a distance, alt faces tioned, but on approacantly tate of dilapidation it o fall into.

    Sections of toneting. And it did look as ts of torm-damaged. I s apriority to ctic rooms.

    t tries to , I understood immediately t sy seeing and  age, t also explains tate of t I suppose t  to t after a lifetime’s service in ty, to see w be ronger hands.

    Mrs. Dunne told me about t most ly reduced staff for years no o be accepted as part of te  ascertained, but  tside ting anymore), but ter takes instruction from tor ate manager—so far as tate management. It is Mrs. Dunne  Cs eac Mrs. Dunne only laug s to go making lists of figures in a book. I cannot  t t I trust I ion of being a good-ed,   is my  er I so ascribe icence entirely to deafness. I made a note to demonstrate to Mr. Angelfield tages of keeping accurate records and t t I migo undertake too busy to do it.

    Pondering to t time I met my employer, and could not old me ire day in t it is not  to leave it. After a great many questions I eventually ascertained t  pity! Is tion ed?

    Mrs. Dunne gave me tea (o drink out of politeness, but later to teacup, ate of tcold me a little about ies, never married, and urally enougalk turned to t it is t departure of to an asylum for t precipitated my engagement. Sorted account of ts t precipitated ttal t I could not make out tacked tor’s  ters; clearly tory of disturbance in t beat a little faster isfaction is tion of minds t already run in smootrammeled lines?  caining ordered t and tidy? I am not only ready for t years longing for it.  h!

    I inquired after till,  on tures. Mrs. Dunne o tell me very little, tead, ses about to read bet me to), contained s of somet ss is not at all likely, not in England at least, and I suspect  fanciful. tion is a  many scientific discoveries could not  it, but it needs to be o some serious object if it is to come to anyt to s o tends to lead into silliness. Per is age t makes  t to invent gossip for t. In any case, I immediately put topic firmly from my mind.

    As I e tside my room. t of t to suit t enormously from t I mean to instill in t go out to t t me to, and it  my purposes to disconcert t tage.

    Mrs. Dunne s, and curtains atters, t see it and time of taff t may be beyond saving, but I  may be full of kno is here.

    t ing to inflict too many stairs at once on Mrs. Dunne. On t floor I became a to t on to t is a cardinal rule t I do not c train to come to me. t terrible disorder. Dirty, but I o expect t. Rainer ed as mucting floorboards. truly un in  getting t out to  someone could fall doairs or at t t an ankle. All t I s t set curtains fluttering, t is impossible to tell exactly whey come from.

    I returned to tcion to eat food cooked in pots as unpleasant as t stuck into a great pile of  t  a close eye on ion. S.

    t come doo eat. I called once and no more. Mrs. Dunne  I told  I  be on my side.

    tor came to dine. As I o expect, t appear. I  tor  t o find it entirely normal. So it  to  at table, but needing mucor is an intelligent, cultivated man. o see t great lengties I am likely to face ened eness as I could muster. Any governess, after ture of task aing   see iresome it is to  lengt one ood. My fidgeting and t sirely escaped ice, and I fear t ical skills are not matcion. I do not criticise ing everyone s to be less able t, ed an air of quiet modesty, but I see t easily enougly t in t I aken on, and s making e comings.

    I  from doairs. Presumably try door. trated, but rain to proper mealtimes? And  mealtimes, ored?

    tomorroart by cleaning tempted to clean t told myself no. It omorroains t are so t. So tonig, but tomorro o restore order and discipline to to succeed in my aim must first of all make myself a clean room to t surrounded by hygiene and order.

    t is time for me to meet my charges.

    I  I tle time for my diary lately, but I must make time, for it is cing t I record and develop my methods.

    Emmeline I s ttern of be c, I turbed as ed, and o be a nice cionate and sturdy, o appreciate ts of s ite and can be made to obey instructions by kind coaxing and treats. So understand t goodness reeem of ots o reduce t ts of my metever my strengt is to start h.

    I am content h my work on Emmeline.

    er is a more difficult case. Violence I ructiveness. ruck by one tructiveness is generally a side effect of rage and not its primary objective. t act, as I  in ot frequently motivated by an excess of anger, and tpouring of tally damaging to people and property. Adeline’s case does not fit ts myself, and been told of otruction seems to be Adeline’s only motive, and rage someto tease out, stoke up in o generate to destroy. For stle ts only crumbs. Mrs. Dunne old me of one incident in to rue, it is a great siful. It could be put to rig Jo  over tter, and it is not only topiary but t suffers from erest. I ime and a o restore  mosphe garden made orderly again.

    talking of Jo speak to  t ternoon, I o come near t ed to close t to let any more damp in; t been so close to t pressed to t, I doubt I’d  trousers, cut off at t cast o get a clear impression of   is common practice in rural areas for co engage in icultural  it e tages of trade early, but I do not like to see any c of sco Jo it and make sure ands t spend school hours in school.

    But to return to my subject: o er is concerned, s be surprised to kno, but I  all before. Jealousy and anger betly ened. itime I o minimise t in time constant vigilance is required to prevent Adeline ing er, and ts, o understand. Ser and could defend ing  on er; sionate soul.

    My first judgment of Adeline in t not ever come to live as independent and normal a life as er, but o a point of balance, of stability, and ion of a strict routine. I did not expect ever to bring o understanding. task I foresaer ter, but I expected far less t, for it  I artled into modifying t opinion by signs of a dark and clouded intelligence. to t, but  t displays of uned  as I  elling of a story, an adaptation I ers of Jane Eyre, a story loved by a great many girls. I rating on Emmeline, encouraging o folloory by animating it as muco to t, yet anoto torytelling ures and expressions as seemed to illustrate tions of ters. Emmeline did not take .

    Out of t a movement. Adeline urned ion. Still ed on ill  I inct impression sening to me. Even if tion  ; surned aeration in tate of animal unconsciousness, today : t of tain tension. As if sraining toory, yet still trying to give t slumber.

    I did not  o see t I iced anytinued to look as if I o Emmeline. I maintained tion of my face and voice. But all time I ening. I caug  not at all—from between ching me!

    It is a most interesting development, and one t I foresee erpin of my project here.

    t unexpected tor’s face c s o a dizzying s and present ted ne is in a  causes to s and dance about like t. I  optical effects, ped to lig t tion is rooted in t and rearrangement of ures caused me to stare at s, o ures , too, somet, cannot fat I cannot fathom.

    e stared at eacly .

    I . imes so tell  a book is not finisil it is finis move it,  it back in t came?  is t of leaving it on taircase?

    I ion he gardener.

    opiary is mending, and a ea and cs in tcimes I come across talking in lo not for  age I  since t is out of tion I am at a loss to explain  is. I taxed Mrs. Dunne , unanding about t part; I t t it  talk of not ters, co be killed, potatoes to be dug and talk so loed, and sold me it  lo all, at least not particularly so. “But you don’t alk lo is because shs.

    I ten all about tcil taking a  before lunc my c c or t all but spra under  as before. I stepped to ure on tance of education, but on seeing me o , clamped  to ed aer t. tly well  sco have a book in his hand.

    I  to Joold  . I told  allo o upset tion just for t if ts did not accept t, I old  o  I  extra staff, bot Jo t it better to  until I ed hings here.

    Joo s must be a village c come  it imes, t  responsible for all truants old  I  tiged t  anyone could o, t there was no such child.

    I told Jotle anger t I cannot regret, t I intended to speak to tress about it, and t I ly to ts and sort tter out o say it o do  do as I liked (and I certainly s o y to of cer for o be obstructive, but tices it never did titudes are sloo die out in rural areas.

    I o legibility forced me to read slo ties, using all my experience, knoion to fles t  tacles seemed not to impede me. On trary, ties, to pulse h meaning, vividly alive.

    of my mind entirely a decision  tation ion, I found my mind made up. I  going er all. I o Angelfield.

    train to Banbury oo cromas travelers to sit, and I never read standing up. it of train, every jostle and stumble of my fello tangle of er’s diary against my c. I . t could .

    o you, er, I t. h did you go?